Why the 'duality' Lazarus-FreePascal?
The fast answer is: They are different projects.
Once upon a time a guy named Florian Klaempfl created its own Pascal compiler and called it Free Pascal. Some time after that, Cliff Baeseman, Shane Miller and Michael A. Hess started their own Pascal IDE and decided to use the Free Pascal compiler and called it Megido, but that project was dissolved. Then Marc Weustink and Mattias Gaertner continued the project renaming it as Lazarus.
Or that is the story I read.

1. Generally, a programmer is not interested in nor knowledgeable of
the inner workings of the compilers. It has to know the
requirements of his app and be able to set the compiler to
produce an app that meets those requirements.
I think I not agree. The better you know about the inner workings of the compilers, better applications you'll create with them, don't you?
2. Corollary: 'make' and 'fpcmake' require an average college
course to be mastered. And no, I am not mentally challenged
and yes I have been programming for the last 25 years.
Absolutely not. I think I've mastered 'make' and it's my favourite tool to compile my applications in any language (I program C, Objective C and COBOL too) and I haven't a college course finished actually.

About the 'fpcmake', well, I did try to use it and I didn't success but it's because there are almost no documentation available except few useless examples. I think if there's the same documentation about 'fpcmake' than 'make' (I mean
this) I'll mastered both them.

3. Maybe I can't get my idea across. I ask questions about, or I
click Help in Lazarus and I am 90% of the times remanded to
FreePascal, am given examples on how to use command lines
(pre-Lazarus) that require more and more knowledge of the
dawn (I think) of FreePascal when there was no GUI (?)
I downloaded Lazarus, I would like to do everything inside Lazarus.
I suspect the vast majority of prospective users expect the same.
Well: may be because your questions aren't specific to Lazarus but they are about Free Pascal compiler or the [Object]Pascal language itself.

About the IDE, Free Pascal has its very own IDE, very similar than good old TurboPascal IDE, and it works in more platforms than Lazarus (i.e. MS/free/Caldera/...-DOS operating systems). You can get that IDE downloading the stand-alone FPC package (i.e. fpc-ide.deb on Debian
et al systems).
2 "Because each is a separate project."Not true. They are not
separate, but inter-twined.
As I've said
they're different projects and nobody will change this fact in the next year(s). Ask anybody.
Try do do anything with Lazarus
without FreePascal....
Try to do anything with Free Pascal without Lazarus... And you'll success! They're different projects and while it's true that Lazarus needs FPC, FPC
doesn't need Lazarus.
Actually I don't use Lazarus often. I used it few times. Most times I use the "GNU's way": Edit using Vim, compile using make+FPC, debug using gdb. No Lazarus. And that's why I really love FPC
and Lazarus.