Not sure how to get to the locked process...
But, if you can use Lazarus 2.3 (the git main branch), then you can start lazarus with
--skip-checks=SingleInstance
The option can be specified in the "lazarus.cfg" file, instead of being passed as argument.
And it will not mind the running instance.
Lazarus has settings in Tools > Option, if to allow more than one instance. But even if allowed, it still creates the lock. And if that lock is hold by a dead instance, then no new instance can create another lock.
The above options prevents even the creation of the lock. But it's 2.3 only.