I beg to differ.
...
I see it this way:
Tough. You've already said that your experience is limited, so listen to KodeZwerg who's got rather more.
There's really two things here. The first is that the operating system will have its own facilities for displaying icons etc., and for performance reasons you'll find that much of that sort of thing is precomputed for "popular" sizes- 32x32, 48x48, 64x64 etc pixels... and you've not even bothered to tell us what OS you're running.
Second, while OSes typically do try to have at least some awareness of DPI (pixels per inch etc.), if that's to be accurate it relies on the display device reporting its characteristics accurately... and since many devices particularly those at the lower end use commodity controller boards without configuration to suit the physical LCD panel etc. the reliability of that is limited.
Now there's a couple of ongoing projects which attempt to reimplement a graphical subsystem on top of (basically) just a bitmapped display, and you could probably tweak those to suit the /measured/ (as distinct from reported) properties of your display device. But at best, you'd end up with application programs that looked like something from the 1980s, when practically every display library had its own visual style.
So, I'm sorry to be negative and to have started off my response appearing to be downright hostile, but rather than writing science fiction you need to come to terms with the fact that the writers of the major widget sets- MS, Apple, and the GTK and Qt developers- do generally have some idea of what they're doing and don't go out of their way to be gratuitously awkward and inflexible.
You will, of course, be able to find counterexamples: programs which "do their own thing" and still don't look too bad (things like Blender spring to mind, which at least in their early versions are forced to break new UI ground). But by and large you're stuck with the facilities that Lazarus (not to mention Delphi, Visual BASIC and so on) provide, and while these have matured to the point where you can lay out predefined widgets that autoscale in placement and size fairly painlessly, doing the same for the /content/ of the widgets (i.e. the precise size of every checkbox, caption and so on) is by and large infeasible.
MarkMLl