... and at this point I concede defeat. Apparently others are using Laz/fpc without problem but I can't make it work.
The problem is, there is something in your machine configuration that is preventing the debugger from terminating. Finding out what that is in a system that is loaded with a bunch of stuff as yours is, is no picnic but, here is something you can do if you are inclined to having a working FPC/Lazarus installation and possibly eventually figuring out what is causing the problem.
This is what you do:
1. Use VM software. VirtualBox, VMware workstation or whatever else you like that works.
2. Create a _clean_ Windows installation in the VM. (install _nothing_ other than a minimal Windows installation) (Make a clone of that installation, it will be useful in the future.)
3. Install FPC/Lazarus in the VM.
4. Test that installation. Odds are quite good, it will work.
5. if you'd like to figure out what in your current system is causing the problem, proceed as follows:
6. Take a snapshot of the VM you can revert back to anytime you want
7. Install _one_ piece of software that is currently in your physical system into the VM.
8. Test your FPC/Lazarus configuration.
9. if it still works, repeat the process from step 6 until something breaks the installation.
Once your installation breaks, revert to the previous snapshot, verify things work as they should, reinstall whatever caused the installation to break and see if it breaks it again (it likely will). At that point, you know the culprit for a fact.
The above, in addition to allowing you to find the culprit, gives you a VM where things work, with a set of snapshots you can revert back to anytime you want and you can clone anytime.
The "moral" of the story is, don't install software on the O/S that manages the physical hardware. Always install software in a VM, that way the O/S that manages the hardware isn't getting saddled with a bunch application garbage. Most important, don't ever, ever access the internet from the O/S on your physical machine. Access the net only from a VM (one or more) dedicated to that. That way, when they get screwed up (and they will), you can revert to a previous clean snapshot.
VMs make life much easier by making disposable O/S installations while keeping the one installation that really counts (that is, the one that manages your hardware), clean.
HTH.