OK the culprit.
bsDialog
That causes the main form to darken, the form called with showmodal to center on the main form, moving the showmodal form also moves the main window.
Arrrrggggghhhh.
Using bsSingle stops all the above but allows the main form to be moved.
I find it odd, moving the called form moves the calling form, regardless of the called form border style.
It appears modal means something different than what I expected and bsDialog is...odd...to me.
So, the "save as" dialogs in Lazarus have BorderStyle set to bsDialog.
I just used TSelectDirectory in my project and it darkens the calling form...same problems as the above description.